are you what you're thinking?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. 

Philippians 4:8

tonight's devotional did not make me feel good - at all. i want a verse that speaks to me about having faith, or that God would provide and that God just wants me to wait etc. 

but then i read this verses tonight and it hits me. because i could use this. this is what i need. i have to be positive in my thoughts. i have to screen my thoughts no matter how tempting to do otherwise. i heard and read somewhere that "you are what you think". and if that is the case i don't want to be what i am thinking a lot of times.

those does not glorify God. i want to be positive, to be an encourage r, to be confident. not because i can do it but because i have God by my side. 

A reminder to myself today:

* i don't need new things to make me happy. sure i get excited when i get new stuff. but right at this moment in my life i want more to be a blessing. to be a change. to help effect change. i might be talking-non-sense to others because i admit it who, would not be happy with a new shoes? or a classic looking bag? a shiny new gadget? but i have to check myself. stuffs are not what are making me they are tools to reach my goal - to be a catalyst of change not a material hoarder. if i feel empty or lacking i don't want to go around rushing to "shop" because "to every girls problem, shopping is the cure".

this is not a recent discovery i have felt this way even before. whenever i get lots of material blessings, or financial abundance i feel a little displaced. i start thinking that i feel guilty which is not healthy at all because I am 100 percent sure that every good and perfect gifts comes from above, i feel like maybe there is more to what i recieved than meets the eye when i get a blessing financial, material or otherwise.

i know i have a long way in learning and growing in many areas in my life. but i really do want that i will be able to communicate my purpose. i am here because God wants me to be here. I am doing what God wants me to do. he wants me to do it competently. humbly. passionately. and that if i do it that way i will be able to reflect his glory. 

   ------

journal Feb 21, 2014